The other day, I had a lovely young customer who came in looking for a dress for a Christmas ball she was attending. This gorgeous young girl looked fabulous in pretty much every dress she tried on. Literally fabulous! What was so upsetting though was that she literally couldn’t see it. All she could see were the negatives. We got there in the end and she found a dress that she loved and that made her feel amazing but it got me thinking…
As adults, what can we do to help our gorgeous teenagers understand that they are wonderful just as they are? Most teenagers face their share of self-doubt and insecurity. I know I did as a young girl. But there are some easy things that we can do to boost that confidence, and help them feel better about themselves…
Let Them Know You’re There For Them.
To be honest, this is probably the most important thing. Just knowing that you’ll be there to catch them if they fall will give your teen the confidence to try different things and by branching out and maybe coming out of their comfort zone, they are likely to find something that they are really good at, which will give those confidence levels a huge boost. Knowing that they are loved and that they always have a safe place to be helps a young person to feel secure in themselves and allows them to face the world when it comes calling…
Be Honest with Them.
One of the biggest mistakes is to sugar coat everything. It’s tempting to shield a child from the difficult stuff but life doesn’t always go to plan and if you have never allowed your teen to understand that, when it does hit, they will find it really difficult to cope. Instead, try being honest with them, help them to understand that when things don’t go their way it’s usually not personal and they just need to get back up and keep trying. Help them to focus on their strengths and this will help them move forward when things go wrong.
Give Them Space to Grow.
You can’t force confidence but you can give your teenager the space to learn. Let them make mistakes and try new things without judgment. This will allow them to build up their confidence as they go along. Let them find new hobbies even if they don’t interest you, let them wear clothes that you don’t necessarily love (I learnt this one the hard way!), let them find out who they are without you telling them. As long as they are safe, give them the freedom to discover the things that will help them fly…
Don’t Forget About Their Friendships.
It’s important to remember that teenagers need friends just as much as adults do, perhaps more so. They’re not going to be able to develop their own sense of self without people their own age around them. It’s important to keep an eye on those friendships though, to make sure they are a positive influence. Understanding what to expect from each friend or friendship group can sometimes help prevent hurt and upset. Not everyone has to be a best friend and it’s important for teenagers to understand this. Friends should help you to feel good about yourself and it’s so important for your teenager to surround themselves with friends that do just that…
Help them to see Beautiful when they look in the mirror.
And this goes back to the start of this blog. Most of us aren’t models. We all have our hang ups and our insecurities about the way we look but it’s so important to try and see yourself how others see you and you can be sure that the people around you don’t just focus on the negatives. They look at the whole picture and see the beauty in everyone. You just have to have the confidence to stand up and own it. Make sure your teenagers understand that there is not only one type of beauty. We don’t all have to look a certain way to be beautiful. Beauty is about so much more than that. I hope that’s what my customer took away from our appointment, as well as a totally stunning dress!
I absolutely love this! And it’s all so true xx
Thanks so much Hayley! xx